Let's lighten up with a bus ride

Coming Back From Dumballyclack.

The old green bus churns up the dust

as it rattles its load along the road.

IThere’s Molly O’Neill behind the wheel,

with a nice ripe cheese perched on her knees,

Buster Bailey and his ukelele,

all of the Flynns, including the twins,

Sylvie O’Grady feeding her baby

and Whiskery Jack with some spuds in a sack,

all coming back from Dumballyclack.

There’s Mrs O’Leary, all bright and cheery,

her biggest boy, Wally, with the shopping trolley,

Deidre Direen with her hair pink and green

Miss Moira Malone on her mobile phone

and old Mr Black in his plastic mac,

all coming back from Dumballyclack.

There’s Marvin and Pete

with their feet on the seat,

Father O’Shea snoring away,

Sister Kathleen eating ice cream,

Paddy Phelan with a pig that keeps squealing

and a duck going quack in the parcel rack,

all coming back from Dumballyclack..

At Finnigans Lake the bus starts to shake;

it splutters and chokes and blows out blue smoke.

It coughs and sneezes, it shudders and wheezes,

it splutters and plops and it stops.

Of all the worst luck, there they are stuck

on the road coming back from Dumballyclack.

They all make suggestions and ask silly questions,

while Molly peers under the bonnet and wonders.

“It’s the alternator.”

“No, the radiator!”

“The battery’s flat, any fool can see that!”

“Do you think a good kick might do the trick?”

“May I just say that I think we should pray?”

Grumbles Whiskery Jack as he peers down the track

“I just want to get back from Dumballyclack.”

Then Miss Moira Malone on her mobile phone

calls Daniel O’Dare’s Vehicle Repairs.

“I’ll be with you,” says Dan, “just as quick as I can.

“But I’m running late, so you might have to wait.”

Mrs Flynn gives a cluck and ‘quack’ goes the duck.

Will they ever get back from Dumballyclack?

Pet and Marvin complain that they’re starving

Mrs O’Leary feels terribly weary,

the baby’s all smelly and the twins want their telly.

“I’m bored,” says Wally and that’s when Molly,

with a smile bright and hearty says “Let’s have a party!

‘Let’s make it a good one, a real crackerjack,

‘while we wait to get back from Dumballyclack!”

A party? Why not? It’s a grand little spot

and they’ve shopping bags stuffed with more than enough.

So down by the lake they spread out biscuits and cake,

frankfurters and mustard, bananas and custard,

bread, butter and jam and slices of ham.

And as you might think, lots of pink fizzy drink.

Says old Mr Black as he takes off his mac,

“Who needs to rush back from Dumballyclack?”

They’re all agreed it’s a wonderful feed;

better, some say, than Christmas Day.

In a nice clean nappy the baby’s quite happy

squishing chocolate eclair in her ears and her hair,

while the pig takes a snooze in the strawberry mousse

and the duck, heaven’s sake, waddles into the lake,

and tries to swim back to Dumballyclack.

Buster Bailey plays his ukelele

and Father O’Shea, quite carried away,

while dancing a jig, trips over the pig

and ker-splat! he prangs into Deidre’s meringues.

But he’s back on his feet without missing a beat;

then they all join in, they prance, hoot and sing

and the racket they make would keep folks awake

all the way back in Dumballyclack.

Well, they laugh and they lark ‘til it’s nearly dark,

then Sister Kathleen, still full of beans,

sings I’m a Little Teapot up in a treetop

And perched there on high, what does she spy?

“Saint alive! Dan’s truck has arrived!

“Come to tow us all back from Dumballyclack.”

Back on board they bundle and home they trundle,

round each twist and bend to their journey’s end.

And as they step from the bus, you never saw such a fuss!

Folks rush out to meet them, to hug and to greet them,

and you’d think from the kissing it was months they’d been missing.

Even the duck, with amazing pluck,

had found her way home all on her own.

Chuckles Whiskery Jack to old Mr Black,

“Sure, it’s good to be back in Dumballyclack!